Not with a bang

A moment with this delicious yet dense barbarian...

Cate: In my attempt at dodging an elf that really has nothing in his pockets other than, well… you know… I stole a moment with this hulking man and coaxed some conversation out of him.

Quarrel: I have traveled for several days, in search of… in search of… it does not matter. I only remember sitting in the Inn of the Seventh Dwarf, and having mugs of ale, until my chest no longer pained me like the claws of a great bear. I wanted to sleep, but the woman with little clothes guided me into the dark hall. I did not think I could please her, but by the gods I would try! But then she opened her hand with the shiny dirt and blew it into my face.

That is all I remember before the cage. Many nights I tried to wake, and could hear the screams and ugly sounds around me. But my eyes were too heavy… vision blurry… darkness covered me like a heavy blanket.

Then horny elf man used his mighty blade on the bars. His anger made it so I could wake. And walking food… frogs are a rare treat in my lands. Much better than wolf even. I want to eat, but snack talks. The gods have touched my food. I shall not anger the gods and will protect Snacks at all costs. If gods angry, they could make all my food taste of dirt and bear dung.

Then I watched elf woman run with bow. Ha! Not woman. Lots of spirit in that one. I do not understand how ones words are so brave, yet he runs from battle. And magic man. He speaks words but those words are not meant to be together. His power is great but I tire of trying to understand him.

I want the crossbow of big fire! How does that weapon work without confusing words? I know not of magic, and hate it. Fight with fair weapons. This weapon does not have magic but does. I want to talk to that man.

I grow tired of looking at these cursed talking pages! I am not a woman. This is woman’s work!

Cate: Quarrel obliterates several shelves of books with his axe and finally comes to a rest leaning on the wall. A single remaining shelf of books above him finally gives way and drops several volumes directly onto his head. His eyes grow large and he grabs a book in anger, shoves the spine of the book into his mouth and bites down like a rabid dog. His face grows red as he attempts to tear into the book and the veins on his massive neck pop out in fury. Realizing the book will not give way, he collapses and pathetically drops the book from his teeth and then slowly curls into a huge forlorn ball in the pile of “talking pages”. …Awww… mommy like.

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kenneth_adamson darrel_williams

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