Not with a bang

Jungle Loot

Wand of invis 12 charges 3rd lvl
Ring of inner fort minor
Ring of protection +2
5 +1 holy shuriken
Obsidian tipped Spear +1 frost
Enchated eel skin +1 slick leather
Potion of cure moderate wounds
Potion of dispel magic
Potion of resist energy cold
Boots of levitation
22 darts dried poison 20 fort save 2 saves 6rd 3 dex damage.
Rod (staff)
Magical Mask
Boro Bead 4th level
79 platinum
1066 gold
1297 silver
2420 copper
Unworked gems. (4000 gp)

Planar Sextant
Found in the machine

Planar Sextant – Finds nearest Portal, Finds the nearest portal to a specific plane, Finds where a specific portal goes.

Has telescoping legs.

4th unknown function points to the forest.

Scary place to gray place.
Our encounter with Chuck and a lot of weird things.

We found the book in the book room. Thaddeus takes group to inn. Out from the big scary place comes a big angry not dead man… Chuck. Chuck has lever for machine. Not Crone becomes Not Lady and talks to Chuck. While Chuck talks, Thaddeus steals lever and gives to friends. Chuck takes Not Lady and starts walking towards scary place. Not Lady is nervous. Thaddeus follows and rescues Not Lady. Chuck is angrier! Friends fix juju machine and everything goes gray.

Inn is floating gray… lots of gray. Sleeping Man is very excited about the gray. Strange things appear and tell Thaddeus and friends to fix machine. Tell us to go that way. Over there. We fall for a loooonnnnngggg time. Sword Helper like to play games so Thaddeus plays games with him. Go through a head hurt storm.

Different strange things have a castle. They like to garden, are nice. They are not even annoyed by Loud One. They have parts for juju machine. We take parts and go back to inn.

Machine settings to travel

ft gm co sw az
g1 m4 r3
pull lever 7
golarion to astral plane

A moment with this delicious yet dense barbarian...

Cate: In my attempt at dodging an elf that really has nothing in his pockets other than, well… you know… I stole a moment with this hulking man and coaxed some conversation out of him.

Quarrel: I have traveled for several days, in search of… in search of… it does not matter. I only remember sitting in the Inn of the Seventh Dwarf, and having mugs of ale, until my chest no longer pained me like the claws of a great bear. I wanted to sleep, but the woman with little clothes guided me into the dark hall. I did not think I could please her, but by the gods I would try! But then she opened her hand with the shiny dirt and blew it into my face.

That is all I remember before the cage. Many nights I tried to wake, and could hear the screams and ugly sounds around me. But my eyes were too heavy… vision blurry… darkness covered me like a heavy blanket.

Then horny elf man used his mighty blade on the bars. His anger made it so I could wake. And walking food… frogs are a rare treat in my lands. Much better than wolf even. I want to eat, but snack talks. The gods have touched my food. I shall not anger the gods and will protect Snacks at all costs. If gods angry, they could make all my food taste of dirt and bear dung.

Then I watched elf woman run with bow. Ha! Not woman. Lots of spirit in that one. I do not understand how ones words are so brave, yet he runs from battle. And magic man. He speaks words but those words are not meant to be together. His power is great but I tire of trying to understand him.

I want the crossbow of big fire! How does that weapon work without confusing words? I know not of magic, and hate it. Fight with fair weapons. This weapon does not have magic but does. I want to talk to that man.

I grow tired of looking at these cursed talking pages! I am not a woman. This is woman’s work!

Cate: Quarrel obliterates several shelves of books with his axe and finally comes to a rest leaning on the wall. A single remaining shelf of books above him finally gives way and drops several volumes directly onto his head. His eyes grow large and he grabs a book in anger, shoves the spine of the book into his mouth and bites down like a rabid dog. His face grows red as he attempts to tear into the book and the veins on his massive neck pop out in fury. Realizing the book will not give way, he collapses and pathetically drops the book from his teeth and then slowly curls into a huge forlorn ball in the pile of “talking pages”. …Awww… mommy like.

Crone is not a crone


So…. it turns out that Cadir and Kell were lying to us (again) and Crone is not really an old crone. She’s actually a very attractive young woman named Cate (who I think is falling for me).

After we finished off those Iron Golems, we headed upstairs to find the library that Old Rag keeps telling us we need to find. Instead we found a disgusting dining room with a Blood Rot eating lots of human remains. We also found a rather large barbarian named Quarrel in a cage waiting to be eaten by that monstrosity. I heroically wielded my enchanted blade and destroyed the cage to free that poor primitive prisoner. Cadir, on the other hand, ran like a little girl trying to get away.

After I destroyed the Blood Rot (with a little help from the others), we started exploring again. I found a hunched over old man hiding in a closet in the next room, but when he saw that he’d been discovered, he jumped out of the window and ran away. I don’t know how he survived the fall, but he did. On his desk I found the ledgers for the castle and found that somewhere around here there are hundreds of thousands of gold pieces! The others either don’t believe me or have lost their minds because they don’t seem too interested in finding it.

Oh… remember that girl in the vision who we saw get beheaded when we entered the keep? Yeah, she’s still here in ghost form. She told us to get out of here quickly because the lord of the keep is a terrible and powerful man who wouldn’t be happy to find us here. Apparently she was supposed to marry that creep, but she told him that she didn’t like him so he killed everyone. Sounds like a real gem of a man. Anyway, she pointed us to the library so off we went.

Meanwhile, Cadir and Kell started to get worried about the old Crone (who we now know is their sister) so they went back to the inn to get her. At the inn they found some crazy machine that they couldn’t describe very well but they think is important so they came to the library to tell us about it.

The library was creepy. It’s the type of place my sword really hates. No matter how much destruction we caused, as soon as we turned our backs, it all went back to the way it was. Frog said there was some kind of poltergeist there that he started talking to. The good news is that I found some amazing books that I think will help me improve my Magus skills. I am starting to wonder if the lord of this keep was a Magus… why else would he have so many books specifically about combining arcane and martial combat?

In the end we found the book that Ragnarok was looking for and headed back to the inn. I’m just happy to get away from that creepy Keep where nothing stays broken.

Notes from library

G1 M4 R3

Winds of Fate and Serpent Reborn


Vision shifts.

A wooden placard swinging outside a building, old and forgotten, but once full of light and life. An image on the placard is faded, but not gone. It appears to be returning, as if fading back into reality, as it once faded away.

The building sits in the center of all things, yet is not itself the center. Connected to all places and times, but being in only one.


Vision fades, replaced by darkness unfathomable.

A single, tiny mote of light, suspended in a vast darkness, drifting silently on the invisible winds of fate.

Our world is dying, but it is not disappearing. It will continue to exist as an embodiment of death. From this, there must be an opportunity for new life: a seed.


Scary Place... bad juju!
RECAP (02-18-2016)

We left the city.
Not Dead things everywhere, not safe.
Desna’s servant said to go to castle, so we go to castle. Follow shore. Thick fog, then not. Bad place! Gatehouse with dead things… lots of dead things. Scary vision… bad juju. Sword’s Helper helps Sword smash gate… then smash another gate (better to watch from other side). Sleeping Man keeps mumbling. Open area has lots of little buildings, one big building and bad thing. Sword Helper smashes bad thing, more juju… scary. Wooden building kind of nice, Thaddeus makes it nicer.

Sleeping Man prays. Is good, he follows the road as well. The Liar and Loud One (also a liar) are mean to the Old One and ask Thaddeus to leave the nice building to “look around”. Thaddeus goes to the big building, but Liar, Loud One and Sword Helper join him. Hear noise from other side of open area. Most of them disappear. Thaddeus goes to corner where noise and Fast Not Dead things attack. Thaddeus helps Liar, Loud One and Sword Helper to make Fast Not Dead things dead. Then they take the dead Fast Not Dead things and burn them in building. Make Thaddeus’ nice building, not nice. Thaddeus finds nice spot and sleeps.

Morning comes, but not really light. Sleeping Man says we need to go into big building, find book room. More bad juju, Thaddeus heals, makes not afraid. Big room, lots of doors. Thaddeus search most of them. Doors slam shut. More bad juju, big metal things walk. Liar and Loud One are not helping. Thaddeus not helping. Sword and Helper do ok, then get poisoned, get eaten. Thaddeus helps Sword and Helper, get them out. Sleeping Man makes metal things turn to dust, then disappears. Thaddeus is tired. Desna said to be in scary place, she always asks Thaddeus to go to scary places. Sleeping Man, Liar, Loud One, Old One, Sword and Helper are good folk though.

Ponderings of an Oracle


I’ve been thinking about the flow of things. That is, if one thing happens, and then another, and another, ad infinitum, how does that work? What does it mean? The first event is caused by an event before it, and it, in turn, causes another event afterward. Thus, by necessity, according to the laws of causation and natural science, one must occur before the other. First, second, third, etc. These events occur sequentially.

This suggests that time, as a measurement of distance between events, is necessary for us to describe the order of events, not unlike distance measurements being used to described the distance between two objects. The trouble is, such descriptions are subjective.

Consider, for example, a series of three events: first, second, and third. From the perspective of someone observing the first event, it is occurring in the present, while the second and third events remain in the future. As future events, there is a question as to whether they exist at all. Yet, when the second event occurs, it is happening in the present. From this perspective, the first event is now in the past. Some now argue that the first event, having come and gone, no longer exists. Also, at this point in time, the third event has not yet occurred and so might not yet be considered “real.”

As you can see, references to the measurement or description of time is subject to the perspective of the observer. The real question though, is what is the implication then for the reality of that observer? Do future or past events exist for him? One might argue that the second event, in the example above, did in fact occur. As such, it now exists. And, if it exists now, it must have always existed in some form, for nothing can come from nothing. The same logic might also be extended to the past. However, if this is true, what then are the implications for our future? Is it predetermined, in some form, already? If so, what then is the nature, or even the point, of freewill, if our outcomes are already cast in front of us?

These thoughts quickly become lost in a cascade of ontological questions that have no simple answers, for they are intertwined upon each other, dependent upon each other. One cannot be answered until all of them are. Such is the nature of reality.

Or is it?

I have experienced future events before they occurred. I have relived my past. I have seen the present with knowledge of what came before and what will come next. I have seen these things, and yet have come to believe that I stand in the midst of a river of fate that I cannot control, though I fight it with all of my mind and soul. I struggle to make sense of it, and trying to make sense of it threatens to free me of my sanity.

All I can do, I fear, is observe.


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